My Facebook feed is full of pictures of smiling children, sitting together, having fun in wide-open spaces. Of parents who went on these trips with these children and HAD FUN. And are looking forward to doing it again.
I am so jealous.
I ought to be happy for them. But really, a part of me sees those pictures and thinks: If only Jacob and Sophia could be like that!
Then I think, Well, they aren't saying it, but I bet they had to chase their child around too, stopping him from hitting other kids and stealing their stuff! ...No, probably they didn't.
There is a part of me that's mad about it. I want to say, hey! I didn't sign up for this!
But parenting is hard, right?
So how can I just give up?
Am I a failure as a parent already? Will I give up on my baby? Does this prove I'm not up to the task?
My wife says this makes us even more ready for children. But to me that sounds like saying that after a divorce, you're an expert in the marriage game. No, you're not -- you're an expert in NOT succeeding at marriage.
All I can say is: this thing is hard. Moving them to a new family feels just as hard as keeping them with us.
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